I always ask my question

Think of a time when you were in a meeting, seminar, workshop, or class, and the discussion moved onto a topic that is unfamiliar, as it contains a detail that you have never heard of. Say, a new exciting technique of “zizibriming”.

People around you nod in agreement. Someone offers a comment about how cool “zizibriming” is. There is no time to look it up on your phone. If only someone asked what is this new technique. You want to ask, but your brain stops you.

I will look it up later.

I will sound stupid.

Here’s why you should ask your question.

The odds are you are not the only one

If you are an absolute beginner on a subject being discussed, then yeah: it may be better to study up before asking an expert a question in front of an audience. But if you know the basics of the subject being discussed, the odds are that if you have never heard of something, there are five other people in the room who haven’t either. Those people are thinking deprecating thoughts, and pretending like they know it all. Same as you.

You are missing out, big time

Suppose now that “zizibriming” is a center of the discussion, and someone even mentioned a derivative technique “xixibriming”. You are getting lost. Now is the time to ask your question.

Consider what happens if you don’t. You get stressed. You are not able to follow that bit of the conversation. You tell yourself to wait it out, you will get the next bit. Then discussion moves on to a related subject that you are familiar with, but now you doubt yourself. Whatever you say, you may look silly if “zizibriming” comes up again. You decide to play it safe and not say anything at all.

You are missing out at the most important moment: when experts are in the room. You are not participating, and thus wasting time in this meeting.

Small risk

Consider the worst case scenario: your question is indeed so basic, that you will end up sounding ignorant and silly.

First of all, put yourself in the expert’s shoes and think what happens if someone asks you an easy question. You are likely to feel good about it: not only you have answers, but also you are gracious to share them.

Secondly, respectable people will not make fun of an easy question; most likely, they answer quickly and move on. They may also ask you to take it offline and help you later. Even better, they may realize that not everyone can follow, and take a step back and explain more context.

Finally, let us consider the unlikely scenario in which the experts do make fun of you because your question was easy. You feel bad, yes. But the “shame” disappears in 5 seconds. More importantly, I put forward that people who make fun of easy questions are not the kind of people you want to work with anyway: shrug it off and move on.

Big payoff over time

When you got your answer, you can follow that bit of discussion. This is big deal: when you consistently make sure you follow, you are learning. Many people do not do this, so you are automatically ahead of your peers. With time, you will need to ask questions less often.

The alternative is to live in a persistent state of always missing 20% of the content, and gaps in understanding do aggregate.

Caveats

There are two caveats to this.

First, if “zizibriming” was mentioned in passing and is not a center of the discussion, let it go and look it up later. In this case, there is no benefit in disrupting the flow of the meeting.

Second, if in a single meeting you find yourself asking time and time again about basic concepts, stop after a third question. Go home and study more.

Conclusion

Next time you stop yourself from asking a question because you may sound silly, think it over. More likely than not, the risk is tiny and easy to shrug off, while the consistent payoff is huge.